Emma’s Birthing Story
Emma is an Independent Consultant and was 40 years old at the time of Bodi’s birth.
“Bodhi was my third child with my second husband. Our daughter was only 9 months old when I got pregnant again and it was a surprise as I was nearly 40 and still breast-feeding.
We had had difficulties during the previous pregnancy and my middle daughter was an unsettled baby.
I read lots of books as I always do when I embark upon a new project and I found Gowri Motha’s book, ‘Gentle Birth Method’ inspiring as well as ‘Spiritual Midwifery’ by Ina May Gaskin.
During the pregnancy I attended baby light Yoga and Hyno Birthing classes all of which made for a very easy, calm pregnancy.
My other two babies had been 2 weeks late to the day and there had been pressure for me to be induced which I absolutely refused. When I did this I got a very negative response got the impression it was not common for women to refuse. I was very upset by their pressure tactics as it was done in front of my husband who was not so well informed and it did panic him. I felt that had I been less confident I could have been talked into an induction the next day which is what they wanted. As I was determined to avoid being induced so I asked them why they induced and asked them for statistics of complications resulting in late babies. I was armed with my own statistics relating to Scandinavia where induction rates are low and funnily enough so are caesareans! I insisted on waiting 14 days as my first child had been 2 weeks "late" and lo and behold 14 days later my 2nd baby was born safely and without undue medical intervention. I must say I get very angry about the induction issue - I believe it is a barbaric procedure and should only be used in extreme cases! I was aware of how the approach to birth had changed in the medical profession since I’d had my first daughter in 1993 and I wanted as little intervention as possible.
My first birth and indeed my second were totally joyous experiences. The first I had pethedine and gas and air and the second just gas and air.
My third and final birthing I wanted to be completely natural and so I planned a home birth. This was totally supported by my midwives and in fact they were very excited about the prospect. My husband was not so sure as he still saw birth as a medical procedure!!!
My waters broke early in the morning and I spent the whole day carrying on with my life while I laboured. I am a great believer in movement facilitating the process.
At one point my waters became cloudy and I was advised to go into hospital. It was the midwife who urged me to go to hospital and my husband who backed her up. I went just to satisfy my husband’s fears really as I knew all was well! As it happened the midwife with 20 years of experience in a hospital was wrong!!! (Not that I was surprised by that as I have been raised to have a healthy cynicism of all so called “authority” figures!)
I was examined to see if baby had passed a motion which I knew was not the case but my husband insisted (I think he secretly hoped I’d give in and stay at the birthing unit). To ensure I had the home birth I knew was right for me I stood in my truth as a woman and mother I saw where my husband was coming from which was from a place of fear and ignorance really so it did not affect me at all in fact it was quite amusing to see how up-tight he was getting!!! After he told me it was the worst experience of his life...again I thought it was rather funny. He does know that I was very well read on the subject and deep down he trusted my instincts!
I returned home where I had a pool set up but was afraid to get in just in case it slowed down the labour. I used the hypno birthing and that kept me focused relaxed and confident throughout it all. Also some yoga techniques which helped ground me physically.
Eventually at 10pm I asked my husband to call the midwife.
My mother had turned up as my husband felt unable to support me alone...they were both pretty hopeless actually. I only wanted the midwife there as I think I sensed that my mother was over excited and my husband terrified and I needed someone grounded and focused on me! I “accidently” trapped my mother in the kitchen and told my husband to “get lost”. I think giving life affords you some temporary privileges one of which is to abandon “people pleasing” during the process!!!
The midwife was wonderful and she and I did it together.
By the time I got into the pool I was in transition so felt like an exhibit at Sea World flaying around in the water!! The midwife sensed this and advised me to get out and squat over the loo-that did the trick and out popped my baby’s head!
I eventually had him on the hall floor, my husband pulling my legs back over my shoulders as the baby’s shoulders were stuck. I was totally unaware of any of the mini drama’s that apparently were going on as I remained in a state of bliss totally confident in my body and nature to do the perfect job it is designed to do!
I was a little stiff after lying on a wooden floor but I had no stitches and my baby was perfect and it remains as 1 of the 3 happiest days of my life.
I think giving birth is the ultimate experience and one that I feel privileged to have been through along with so many others. If I were to do anything differently I think I would have sent my husband out for the duration and employed a doula!
It is my wish that women reclaim their innate knowledge and wisdom and take back the birthing right and stop allowing it to be so controlled and medicalised - I can’t see how this is doing our babies any good at all as I strongly believe our birth has a massive impact on the rest of our lives!
I would highly recommend home birth and I am grateful that my health authority was so supportive!”
Emma is an Independent Consultant and was 40 years old at the time of Bodi’s birth.
“Bodhi was my third child with my second husband. Our daughter was only 9 months old when I got pregnant again and it was a surprise as I was nearly 40 and still breast-feeding.
We had had difficulties during the previous pregnancy and my middle daughter was an unsettled baby.
I read lots of books as I always do when I embark upon a new project and I found Gowri Motha’s book, ‘Gentle Birth Method’ inspiring as well as ‘Spiritual Midwifery’ by Ina May Gaskin.
During the pregnancy I attended baby light Yoga and Hyno Birthing classes all of which made for a very easy, calm pregnancy.
My other two babies had been 2 weeks late to the day and there had been pressure for me to be induced which I absolutely refused. When I did this I got a very negative response got the impression it was not common for women to refuse. I was very upset by their pressure tactics as it was done in front of my husband who was not so well informed and it did panic him. I felt that had I been less confident I could have been talked into an induction the next day which is what they wanted. As I was determined to avoid being induced so I asked them why they induced and asked them for statistics of complications resulting in late babies. I was armed with my own statistics relating to Scandinavia where induction rates are low and funnily enough so are caesareans! I insisted on waiting 14 days as my first child had been 2 weeks "late" and lo and behold 14 days later my 2nd baby was born safely and without undue medical intervention. I must say I get very angry about the induction issue - I believe it is a barbaric procedure and should only be used in extreme cases! I was aware of how the approach to birth had changed in the medical profession since I’d had my first daughter in 1993 and I wanted as little intervention as possible.
My first birth and indeed my second were totally joyous experiences. The first I had pethedine and gas and air and the second just gas and air.
My third and final birthing I wanted to be completely natural and so I planned a home birth. This was totally supported by my midwives and in fact they were very excited about the prospect. My husband was not so sure as he still saw birth as a medical procedure!!!
My waters broke early in the morning and I spent the whole day carrying on with my life while I laboured. I am a great believer in movement facilitating the process.
At one point my waters became cloudy and I was advised to go into hospital. It was the midwife who urged me to go to hospital and my husband who backed her up. I went just to satisfy my husband’s fears really as I knew all was well! As it happened the midwife with 20 years of experience in a hospital was wrong!!! (Not that I was surprised by that as I have been raised to have a healthy cynicism of all so called “authority” figures!)
I was examined to see if baby had passed a motion which I knew was not the case but my husband insisted (I think he secretly hoped I’d give in and stay at the birthing unit). To ensure I had the home birth I knew was right for me I stood in my truth as a woman and mother I saw where my husband was coming from which was from a place of fear and ignorance really so it did not affect me at all in fact it was quite amusing to see how up-tight he was getting!!! After he told me it was the worst experience of his life...again I thought it was rather funny. He does know that I was very well read on the subject and deep down he trusted my instincts!
I returned home where I had a pool set up but was afraid to get in just in case it slowed down the labour. I used the hypno birthing and that kept me focused relaxed and confident throughout it all. Also some yoga techniques which helped ground me physically.
Eventually at 10pm I asked my husband to call the midwife.
My mother had turned up as my husband felt unable to support me alone...they were both pretty hopeless actually. I only wanted the midwife there as I think I sensed that my mother was over excited and my husband terrified and I needed someone grounded and focused on me! I “accidently” trapped my mother in the kitchen and told my husband to “get lost”. I think giving life affords you some temporary privileges one of which is to abandon “people pleasing” during the process!!!
The midwife was wonderful and she and I did it together.
By the time I got into the pool I was in transition so felt like an exhibit at Sea World flaying around in the water!! The midwife sensed this and advised me to get out and squat over the loo-that did the trick and out popped my baby’s head!
I eventually had him on the hall floor, my husband pulling my legs back over my shoulders as the baby’s shoulders were stuck. I was totally unaware of any of the mini drama’s that apparently were going on as I remained in a state of bliss totally confident in my body and nature to do the perfect job it is designed to do!
I was a little stiff after lying on a wooden floor but I had no stitches and my baby was perfect and it remains as 1 of the 3 happiest days of my life.
I think giving birth is the ultimate experience and one that I feel privileged to have been through along with so many others. If I were to do anything differently I think I would have sent my husband out for the duration and employed a doula!
It is my wish that women reclaim their innate knowledge and wisdom and take back the birthing right and stop allowing it to be so controlled and medicalised - I can’t see how this is doing our babies any good at all as I strongly believe our birth has a massive impact on the rest of our lives!
I would highly recommend home birth and I am grateful that my health authority was so supportive!”
© 2010 Amy Marner
